America. A nation founded by uptight Puritans, who viewed physical intimacy as a sin and would cast a sinner out of their midst. But people still did hook up even though intimacy was restricted in a sense.
The Founding Fathers were proponents of physical intimacy during the Revolutionary War, because what better way to unwind when constantly surrounded by men?
Benjamin Franklin Offered Indelicate Advice
Franklin had a suave demeanor. One of the reasons why he was selected to win France’s support during the Revolutionary War.
It was a trait he used to court women and he was always ready to talk about romantic relations.
In fact, one of his letters outlines advice on how to find a mistress. Franklin’s advice was to go for older women.
The age and wisdom makes older women discreet partners. Franklin is straight to the point saying, “The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts [continue] to the last as plump as ever.”
Dating Even Involved Partners Being Stuffed In A Burlap Sack
“Bundling” allowed betrothed couples to stay at the girl’s house under the supervision of her parents.
A sack that looked like a large sleeping bag with the middle sewn together would hold the young couple together to make sure there was no physical contact.
However, there were variations. An unmarried couple may be allowed to share a bed to stay warm, as long as a board separated the two.
They could even be watched closely by parents.
But these methods weren’t always successful since the mid- to late-1700s had one in three brides pregnant when she said “I do.”
Common Law Marriage Was An Easier Path Towards Acceptable Intercourse
In colonial America, only married couples were allowed to share intimacy.
However, it was easy for people to get married. They just had to clasp hands and declare themselves husband and wife.
This method was called “common law marriage,” or “handfasting,” a practice brought to the Colonies by English settlers.
But not all of these marriages lasted.
Since there were no legal documents or witnesses, it was too easy for a “spouse” to leave the relationship after the marriage was consummated.
There Were Same-Sex Relationships
Same-sex relationships have existed for the longest time, as far back as the ancients, and the colonial period was no exception.
According to historians, there have been such types of relationships documented through correspondence.
Intimate relations among men were forbidden, but records suggest same-sex couples existed during the war for American independence.
Sex Work Didn’t Really Exist Outside Of Cities
Cities of the past were renowned for their many sex workers, but that wasn’t the case in colonial America.
Religious beliefs discouraged this, and the demographics of the population just could not support large-scale operations.
Sex work did exist, but it wasn’t centralized or well-documented in the countryside.
Most employees worked in major settlements, such as New York and Philadelphia.
Thomas Jefferson Fathered Children With A Woman He Enslaved
Thomas Jefferson is widely celebrated for his liberal ideals, but he did have slaves during his time.
A Sally Hemings was referred to as his “concubine” in 19th-century documents, but scholars question if the relationship was even consensual.
Jefferson may have fathered Hemings’s six children, and that caused scandalous rumors when he was president.
His family insisted that the light-skinned children who looked like Jefferson were fathered by his nephews.
But after DNA tests, they found that Jefferson was most likely the father of those children.
There Were No Shops Catering To Self-Pleasure
Toys for self-pleasure are as old as intercourse, but as for America’s colonial era, there were no records of such to exist.
Many Colonists were Puritans, so those toys may not have been discussed or sold publicly.
Dirty Jokes And Songs Were Popular
Colonial Americans still joked about intercourse. John Adams himself wrote dirty jokes he would hear.
In a story, a man who “was a better Prophet than Elijah for he stretched himself on her but once to bring her to Life whereas Elijah did 3 times. He breathed into her the Breath of Life.”
Philadelphia Had Its Own Red Light District
Philadelphia was one of the largest cities at the time, so a big population meant lots of opportunities for intimacy.
The most infamous of the “rough” neighborhoods was Hell Town. It was a place of poverty, crime, and sex work.
Benjamin Franklin was said to have relations with a few women from the neighborhood.
People Began Marrying For Love
Arranged marriages were common back then, but in the 18th century, love became a factor for unions to take place.
Marriages were once arranged to consolidate family power, but the parents’ influence declined by the time of the Revolutionary War.
Rebellion was taking hold of the nation.
Cultural Norms
Physical intimacy during Revolutionary America was often governed by strict cultural norms and religious beliefs that emphasized modesty and restraint.
Puritan heritage, religious teachings, and Enlightenment ideals contributed to a society emphasizing modesty and restraint. Courtship and marriage were formalized, with limited physical contact, as premarital sex was scandalous.
Gender roles were defined, and public displays of affection were rare due to community scrutiny. Deviation from these norms carried social and legal consequences.
Limited Privacy
Due to small living spaces and communal arrangements, couples had limited privacy, which influenced how they engaged in physical intimacy.
Couples had to adapt their behavior and engage in more discreet forms of physical affection.
This necessity for privacy influenced the ways in which they navigated and expressed their intimate relationships within the constraints of their living conditions.
Courtship Rituals
Courtship was a formal process, and physical affection was generally reserved for public settings. Couples often exchanged letters and gifts as a way to communicate their affections.
Physical affection was usually reserved for public settings due to societal norms. This approach allowed them to express their affections while adhering to the cultural expectations of modesty and propriety.
Chaperoned Activities
Young couples were frequently chaperoned by family members or friends when spending time together, ensuring that interactions remained proper.
This practice aimed to ensure that their interactions remained appropriate and in line with societal standards. Chaperones played a role in maintaining decorum and preventing any behavior that could be deemed improper or scandalous.
Handholding and Hugging
Handholding and hugging were considered acceptable forms of physical intimacy between unmarried couples, but they were still done modestly.
However, even though these actions were permitted, they were still carried out with a sense of modesty and restraint.
Love Spoons
In some colonial regions, young men carved “love spoons” as tokens of affection for their sweethearts. These intricately designed spoons were considered romantic gifts.
Crafting these spoons was a way for young men to express their feelings and devotion to their beloveds, showcasing their artistic and creative skills as well as their dedication to the relationship.
Scarves and Handkerchiefs
Ladies would often wear scarves or handkerchiefs with a specific corner knotted in a certain way to convey their relationship status or romantic intentions.
This nonverbal communication allowed women to express their feelings discreetly and maintain the standards of modesty and decorum that were expected in their society.
Parental Involvement
Parents played a significant role in arranging marriages, and their approval was crucial for a relationship to progress.
Marriages were often viewed as alliances that extended beyond the couple themselves, involving families and even communities. Parents played a central role in evaluating potential partners based on factors such as social status, financial stability, and compatibility.
Engagement Period
Engagements were often longer than they are today, allowing couples more time to get to know each other before marriage.
This allowed couples to better understand each other, families to solidify alliances, and logistical and cultural preparations to take place.
Engagements served practical, financial, and cultural purposes, reflecting the era’s complex social dynamics and the significance of marriage beyond personal feelings.
Marriage as a Contract
Marriages were often seen as practical partnerships and contracts, where considerations like financial stability and social standing were prioritized over romantic affection.
The societal norms of the time emphasized the communal and practical aspects of marriage, often linking families and communities together through unions that held broader implications beyond individual emotions.
Childbearing Role
Physical intimacy was closely tied to the role of women as childbearers and mothers, and contraception methods were limited and often unreliable.
The prevailing societal expectations placed a strong emphasis on women’s reproductive responsibilities, and the ability to bear and raise children was a central aspect of their identity and purpose within the family and community.
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