There are a lot of reasons why married couples get divorced.
It ranges from lack of compatibility, communication, or intimacy, to getting married way too early, irreconcilable differences, or because of affairs.
Divorce is a long, complicated process but most of the time, it’s worth it to get out of a marriage that no longer serves or works for either of you.
But did you know?
There is something or 10 things, to be exact, that are more complicated than the legal process that no one talks about. You’ll only hear these things from other divorcees.
Brace yourself to read these 10 truths no one tells people about divorce.
1. Family and friends will disappear.
The people who used to be around you all the time will suddenly be no longer available. Your family and friends will have been supportive of you when you were married but no more. Your family, especially if they’re traditional, will no longer talk to you or will treat you as THAT family member. Your married friends will avoid you because they’re scared you might be “contagious.”
2. You’re now seen as a threat.
And your friends will also see you as a threat now. You’re the “friend” that all of the husbands know well. So now they’re scared that you’ll try to steal the husbands away. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like their husbands or you have no interest in a relationship at the moment. You are and will be a threat.
3. There’s a high emotional price tag.
To really start over with a new life, sometimes involves leaving your old life behind, including your old house and even your old town. You’re already trying to adjust to singlehood again and now, you have to add adjusting to a new home in a new city, too.
4. You will question your decision every day.
When the new life gets tough, you will second guess yourself if you actually made the right decision. You did. And you need to keep reminding yourself every day you did until you get control of your life.
5. Being happy makes you feel guilty.
There will be moments, lots of them, when you’ll feel so happy you can breathe on your own again. It’s okay to feel happy when things are going your way or when there’s a happy moment to be celebrated. Everyone deserves to be happy.
6. Your finances will change.
This is especially true if you’ve never paid the bills or you’ve always had someone to split the bills with. Suddenly, you’re the only one responsible for all the bills now. And you might even lose your home because you need a two-income family to pay the mortgage.
7. Divorce can get ugly.
Even if it was an amicable separation, divorce proceedings have a way of making the process ugly. And it’s especially ugly when you’ve been cheated on, live in a no-fault state, and you have to split everything 50-50 and pay the ex-spouse child support because you make more money than them.
8. Grieving process of divorce is different each time.
Going through a divorce can also be similar to the process of grieving. Give yourself time to heal. For most people, it will take a while for the healing process to finish. One thing’s for sure, every grieving and healing process is different for everyone.
9. Sleeping arrangements are going to be different now.
When you go on a trip with your family or other married couples, you will be relegated to the couch, the floor, or the least nice bedroom.
10. There will be a big “D” sign on your chest.
There will be that big “Divorced” sign on your chest. Other people are uncomfortable, awkward, or different. Remember, it’s not you, it’s them. Feel free to tell them off when they try to tell you what to do about it.
Have you ever experienced any of these things as a divorced person? Or maybe you are guilty of some of this.
No matter what you experience, just stay true to who you really are and don’t let another person drag you down.
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