A lot of business people and marketers will agree: selling is an absolute art- and anything but straightforward.
Getting rid of your old stuff on the internet doesn’t always go easy. You need to put some effort into it, and that’s exactly what a man named Patrick Fellows did.
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Patrick needed to get rid of his old minivan, but let’s just say that he decided to use some very colorful and imaginative vocabulary to make it happen.
Let’s face it – a minivan isn’t exactly the most exciting thing in the world, but this man surely did his best to make it sound like the best thing in the world.
According to him, this isn’t just a minivan.
Rather, he prefers to call his vehicle a “rolling man cave/stabbin’ cabin” or for the Star Wars fans out there, a “Milf Millennium Falcon.”
In reality, the car is a 2012 Honda Odyssey minivan, but that just sounds a little bit boring, doesn’t it?
The man wrote a hilarious and absurd ad to numerous Facebook buy/sell pages, and it didn’t take long before the post went viral.
“FOR SALE: 2012 Honda Odyssey with all the shit to make your life an effing breeze, and you, a better person. Seems too good to be true, you say? Well, grab your panties because your fortunes have changed,” the profanity-filled posts starts.
When you put it like that, it does make you realize what kinds of things that cars can do.
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His next tactic was to try and relate to all the struggles parents would go through, while they’re going shopping for example.
Trying not to get mugged, carrying your groceries across the parking lot, children who need attention, or trying to find your keys – this minivan can make your life a whole lot easier. At least, that’s what Patrick tries to make us believe.
“Throw all that shit into the air, the purse lands on the passenger seat, the kid lands strapped in, the groceries all hang by the handles on the fancy little hooks, and you flip your beautiful hair around like an 80’s Prell commercial, while, ‘RUN THE WORLD’ by Beyonce magically starts playing, loud, with authority,” the man explained in his ad.
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As for the state of the car itself, Patrick doesn’t shy away from using some hilarious metaphors too.
He immediately makes it clear that this car isn’t only in an “ok to great shape”, there’s a whole lot more to it than that.
“The leather smooth and the driver’s seat doesn’t look like a long haul trucker has been smashing his sweaty ass on it for thousands of miles.”
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Patrick realized that he had to appeal to all audiences, so he made sure to include some perks for all the dads and ‘single bros’.
“Men, don’t feel left out here. You too can sack up and buy yourself a rolling man cave/stabbin cabin, replete with plugs in the back to charge the batteries for your drills and what not. A fully functional DVD w/ two sets of headphones, means you can watch Gladiator or Caddyshack or whatever the eff on your next trip to Disney,” he reassured his male audience.
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Speaking of Disneyland, this car seems to be able to drive towards the happiest place on earth almost effortlessly!
“I just pointed her in the right direction and BLAMMO, Happiest Place on Earth, here we come!” Fellows said.
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The man also realizes that the reputation of the minivan isn’t exactly the best, but he wants to do something about it.
“Minivans are the new F-150’s so get with the game, losers (I say this affectionately).”
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It’s evidently clear: this man isn’t keen on leaving the joking behind, even when he’s trying to sell his minivan.
His asking price is somewhere under $10,000, although he does have quite a special requirement when it comes to agreeing on an amount.
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“I’ll take offers, low ball away, but know that banter is going to be epic! Also, know the agreed upon price will have to end in a 3, 7 or 9. Superstitions,” he concluded.
One thing is for sure: thanks to his absurd and hilarious post, he’s reached a lot more people than he normally would!
You can check out the original post by Patrick below.
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
https://www.facebook.com/patrickfellows/posts/10158748191519686
