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Single black mom admits she's always judged for not ‘matching’ her kids
‘Are you her nanny?’ ‘Did you kidnap her?’
Irene Markianou
02.12.20

Kimberly Holden is a young woman from Connecticut who has always wanted to be a foster mother. She was inspired to do so when, as she was a little girl, three of her aunts became foster mothers. This sparked something in her heart that stayed with her until adulthood. She was so determined to become a foster mother herself, that she promised one of her aunts to do so.

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“My Aunt Gloria (who we all called Mama) was my biggest inspiration,” Holden says, “and right before she passed away, I whispered in her ear, ‘Mama, I’m going to be a foster mom.’”

When Kimberly was 21 years old, she got married and still wanted to adopt, but her husband didn’t at the time. Eventually, the two got divorced and, in 2011, she became a single foster mother for the first time. Within the next few years, she fostered five children, all of which were later on reunited with their biological parents. And, although she knew she was helping these children big time, every time she had to let one go, her heart broke, so she decided to take a break from fostering and regain some emotional strength.

After a year-long pause, the time came for Kimberly to help a little girl, Elizabeth. So she became a foster mom once again. The connection she had with this little girl was unbelievable, and they had a great time together. The thing was- the girl was white. This caused some stares on the part of passersby’s whenever Kimberly and Elizabeth hung out in public. But she didn’t mind. Not when she was asked if she was her nanny, nor when she was stared at as if she had kidnapped the girl.

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“Yes, she wasn’t Black, but she was a baby who needed my home and heart that I was willing to give.”

And then she found out Elizabeth had a baby brother, Edgar. She was asked to take him in, too. This journey wasn’t easy either. On the contrary, it was a very stressful one, full of disappointment and anger sometimes, but it paid off, and now she has officially adopted both siblings and given them a loving home to call their own.

Although Kimberly has been judged or looked down by strangers when she’s in public with her children, she doesn’t regret her decision to adopt them in the least bit. As she explains, the fact that she and her children come from different backgrounds, it doesn’t mean that they cannot be a family. They identify as a transracial family; she teaches them about their culture (the children are Puerto Rican, Greek, and Cherokee), and also about hers, so they come together in a beautiful mix.

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“Love goes beyond skin color. It doesn’t matter what color someone is… LOVE THEM!” says Kimberly.

This beautiful story is teaching us that love goes beyond race and color and that there are no boundaries when it comes to creating a family.

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